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Joke of the Day

"Go piss on a friend. They may have been stung by a jellyfish & are too embarrassed to ask for help. You'll be a hero."

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"What does Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common? They both stick their raw meat into five year old buns. It's been almost 6 years...is it okay to make jokes yet?"
"I'm at home eating grape jelly. That shit is my jam."
"Why is Kristen Stewart safe from the Fine Brothers? Because she has no facial expressions so can't react."
"What happened to Wendy from Wendy's? ""The Baconator"""
"Horror Stories by R. U. Scared"
"According to the second law of thermodynamics......... According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me. :)"
"Women are like parking spots they are either taken or handicapped."
"It was a sad day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. Not even remotely."
"What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me, something smells."