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Joke of the Day

"Why is Kristen Stewart safe from the Fine Brothers? Because she has no facial expressions so can't react."

"A midget walks into a bar.. he`s wearing a T-shirt that reads ""I hate all Paki`s"" I thought to myself....""that`s a little racist"""

"Yo mama is so fat... Yo mama is so fat She needs three extra syllables To fit in a haiku"

"My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up."

"I made a new mixtape, it was trash Until I played it on my new galaxy note 7, then it was fire"

"My relationship with my Ex was purely psychological... She was a psycho and I was totally logical."

"Pro Tip: On 20th wedding anniversary, giving wife a book called ""The Many Benefits of Kegels"". Is not a great idea. I know this now."

"I drank too much over the holidays. I was at the doctor's yesterday and gave a urine sample. It had an olive in it."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? No seatbelt."

"There's a easter parade in my pants...wanna go?"