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Joke of the Day

"Piglet: *sees recipe book* Honey-glazed...Pooh, what's ham? WinniethePooh: A food that goes well with honey. Now, how about a nice hot bath?"

"Why do Jews watch porn backwards? Because they like to climax at the part when the hooker gives the money back."

"I make love like a machine. Unfortunately it's a two-stroke engine."

"The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!"

"Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two? In case he got a hole in one."

"What's Obama's favorite vegetable? Barackoli"

"So I posted an opposing view on r/The_Donald [removed]"

"What word is always spelled incorrectly? Incorrectly. I'll see myself out."

"What do you call a fake noodle? ...*dramatic pause*... An imPASTA!"

"there's a pile of shoes by the door and you're looking for the pair that will be the quietest for when you leave"