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Joke of the Day

"whats the difference between my sex life and racism racism actually exists"

"A solid knife fighting strategy is to move clockwise in increasingly larger circles until you reach a safe running distance."

"Q: how many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN!!! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!!!!!"

"Which faction in Divergent has the largest number of lamborghinis? Erudite because they like knowledge a lot more than materialistic things"

"Things I've learned as a mom: Kiss boo boo's. Say I love you a lot. Snuggle when they ask. Do laundry daily. Hide the good snacks."

"I hate in your end. O. (innuendo)"

"Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry."

"I wonder if giraffes can eat so much their stomach explodes bc they just don't know it right away cuz it's in their neck for so long. What."

"A pumpkin-shaped woman should never wear a bright orange top and a brown beret unless she wants to make my whole fucking day."

"Tweets a cocaine joke gets 120 favorites & a trophy Post a cocaine joke on Facebook & gets 170 ""we are praying for you"" & an intervention."