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Joke of the Day

"A pumpkin-shaped woman should never wear a bright orange top and a brown beret unless she wants to make my whole fucking day."

"Why did people hate going on road trips with Kurt Cobain? Because he always called shotgun"

"If I ever get a llama, I'm totally naming it Dalai."

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected."

"What do you call a turkey that blows chickens? A cock gobbler"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but only if the light bulb wants to change."

"Catharine Zeta Jones gets naked, ties a red sheet around around her neck runs into the bedroom, jumps up on the bed and yells ""super pussy"". Michael rolls over and says ""Think I'll take the soup."""

"Do you know what the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean is? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What's the difference between bullets and people? People miss Harambe"

"Did you hear the one about the sprinkler that tried to spray a man in the eye? It completely mist!"