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Joke of the Day
"Whenever I tell someone I'm Russian they tell me to slow down."
Next Joke
"I don't always try to use big words but when I do, I accidentally tell a mother her toddler was a necrophiliac today instead of narcoleptic."
"Think smoking's ""COOL""? What if I do it in a leather jacket? ""COOL"" now? On a Harley? Still ""COOL""? While I kiss this model? Is that ""COOL""?"
"Has anybody ever thought of buying a pig a plane ticket?"
"My Asian friend asked me what the word correctible meant... I replied, ""It's what you call an object regarded as being of value or interest to a collector."""
"Life as a penis must be hard."
"What has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree can kill you? A pool table."
"He died doing what he loved; getting stabbed to death in a TJ Maxx."
"[buys ghostbusters ringtone] ME: who ya gonna call? [1 hour later] ME: who ya gonna call?! [2 days later] ME: *sobbing* I am so lonely"
"I recently went to the funeral of an asshole who bullied me for most of my life..... I wanted to literally see a dick in a box."