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Joke of the Day

"Life as a penis must be hard."

"My asian friend lent me a cow with hair that changes color It's currently on roan"

"Brain: Walk up to her and offer her a drink. Me: I WANT TO DRINK YOU LIKE A SIPPY CUP. Brain: Can you actually hear me?"

"Some people complain about it, but I don't really mind going into work every morning... It's the 8 hour wait to go home again that pisses me off."

"I was having the best day of my life But then I woke up."

"The difference between true love and dinosaurs: We're sure that dinosaurs once existed on this earth."

"My wife has her period so I suggested swimming, beach volleyball and a horseback ride. She told me to piss off. Commercials are misleading."

"Why won't the members of the Westboro Baptist Church drink whole milk? Because it's Homo."

"I saw a woman at the fuel pump spill gasoline on her arm and then light a cigarette. The police arrested her for waving a firearm."

"I only shave on days when I'll be having sex. I live life as a yeti now."