62832

Joke of the Day

"I was trying to have sex with my wife on Thanksgiving But she was too busy making dinner, Turkey shot down my jet"

"I'm very popular at the gym. Girls always approach saying things like, ""Hey, this is the women's locker room."""

"Hang on guys. My boyfriend told me not to be anxious, so I expect to feel better any moment."

"As a Canadian I like to go clubbing; but if theres no seals around..."

"Judge: *whispering* pls stop introducing yourself like this just because u work in my chambers it doesn't m- Me: YES HI IM HIS CHAMBERMAID"

"News says there were a ""record number of marijuana seizures"" in 2015. Weird ... after all these decades I've never had a single seizure."

"What do you call someone who tells you they've successfully broken the Law of Excluded Middle? **WRONG.** ^... ^or ^^right, ^^^or ^^^^something ^^^^^in ^^^^^^between."

"There are three things verbose realtors should keep in mind... Loquacion. Loquacion. Loquacion."

"Why does Z hate being at the end of the alphabet? Because he spends all day with a Y's ass."

"What did Mike Tyson say to the Death Star elevator attendant? ""Sith floor pleaths"""