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Joke of the Day

"I'm getting a restraining order against my debt collectors. As much as they call me it's really just starting to come across as desperate"

"When it comes to stealing chocolate bars... I have a couple twix up my sleeve"

"Where did Ronda Rousey learn how to take a punch? Holm School"

"4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: ""I never want to do that again."""

"A co-worker of mine vocally disapproved with my proposal to ban pyrotechnics in nightclubs... I told her to give her rebuke a rest."

"What do you mean you're not going to spank me? I mouthed off and everything. What kind of man are you?"

"What do you do when nothing goes right? Go left"

"Which character of Pokemon is a jew? Ash"

"There's a French guy with tourettes syndrome who keeps yelling goodbye at random people. There's much adieu about nothing."

"Hey man, want to buy some stolen peppers? Careful, they're hot."