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Joke of the Day
"Hope to get down to a weight where people don't think I have an opinion on movies."
Next Joke
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."
"Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's disgusting. You shouldn't tell people that."
"Tips for Guys on Valentine's Day: Tell your girl you already got something and make her guess. She'll automatically list things she want."
"What runs well and efficiently except when you need it to? The Seattle Seahawks"
"""So, why do you want to be a doctor?"" Because I can never be patient."
"Why are Apple products popular with hipsters? Steve Jobs went underground."
"Ok guys, I have 28 minutes to kill before I casually need to respond to a text message. What's up?"
"Do you think Apple's next phone will be a 6S?"
"So there is a First class only Indian Airline. Their motto is ""We will treat you passengers like Cattle"""