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Joke of the Day

"My psychiatrist said I have a narcissistic personality I don't know what that means, but must be pretty good if I've got it."

"What do you get when a short bus gets in a wreck? Mashed potatoes."

"I'm pretty sure if dogs could talk their most common phrase would be ""Are you going to eat that?"""

"At bedtime I read my daughter a few of my favorite RTs, tuck her in & whisper, ""This is why we don't talk to strangers on the internet."""

"If there is no emoji to express the emotion, does the emotion really exist?"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? It only takes two mice to screw in a light bulb. The hard part is getting them in there."

"Grandson told me his uncle abused him as an April fools prank. I don't know why he's so upset I didn't fall for it."

"It is always the wrong time of month."

"Why did the the acrophobe pothead start screaming? She's afraid of heights."

"I have this thing where I like to take a crap with the door open. Unfortunately, not everyone at Starbucks feels the same way."