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Joke of the Day

"I have this thing where I like to take a crap with the door open. Unfortunately, not everyone at Starbucks feels the same way."

"Here's a pie chart on procrastination."

"A man goes into a pharmacy And asks, Do you have pills for memory? The pharmacist says, Yes we do. And the man goes: You do what?"

"I take karate classes solely to fight off hobos who mistake my man bun for a delicious cinnamon roll"

"A funny 1-liner I'm more tired than the Michelin Man."

"Why do you wrap gophers in electrical tape? So they don't explode when you fuck 'em."

"Where do you store your wine? In the cabernet"

"How many Pao's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fuck you."

"Pro tip: most pro tips are given by amateurs."

"So this baby seal walks into a club... ..."