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Joke of the Day

"If your Dad leaves, just act like you're installing a new screen door. All the Dads of the neighborhood will gather round. Pick your new Dad"

"It's so cold in south florida, I just saw an iguana kill a squirrel and use it as a scarf."

"What professional hates going to the bar? A lawyer"

"What oil does Trump use in his cooking? Rapeseed oil"

"A hammock is really cool until you try to get out of it. I'm going to have to live here now. Goodnight."

"what do you get when you squeeze a synagogue? Jooouice!"

"If sex with two other people is a threesome... and sex with 3 others is a foursome, then I guess that makes me handsome."

"I asked my wife what to wear to this black tie event. She said ""When in Rome"". So, I'm going as a naked, terrified Christian. With a tie."

"JEllo hooker? What's the difference between Jello and a Dead Hooker? Jello wiggles when you eat it out"

"How do you call a singing PC? a dell"