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Joke of the Day

"Why do girls keep giving me their fax numbers?"

"[sees crush] Oh you're going to the mall? Wow weird me too. I totally need a new *tries to think of something at the mall* escalator"

"I remember being told that everytime you shave it off, it grows back thicker... Cant wait to see my new cock"

"What do you call a dinosaur that practices Islam? A Quranosaurus."

"Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy? In case you wake the sleeping pills!"

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield? Its arsehole."

"Do you know what that white shit in bird shit is Shit..."

"Every time I go for a Jog I get hit by the same bike It's a vicious cycle"

"[At Vision Center] Receptionist: Which Doctor would you like to see? Me: I'd like to be able to see all of them. That's why I'm here."

"I yelled ""STOP EATING CAT TURDS OR IT WILL HURT WHEN YOU POOP!"" & my dog stopped eating, so if you need a motivational speaker contact me"