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Joke of the Day

"what do you get when you squeeze a synagogue? Jooouice!"

"50% of being a lawyer is the ability to use latin phrases that people don't understand the other 50% is *ad hoc ergo propter hoc*"

"I called the rape support hotline last night. Apparently it is only for victims."

"What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog"

"Ned: What does your Dad sell ? Ed: Salt. Ned: Well my dad is a salt seller too. Ed: Shake."

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong!"

"The Asian Grading Scale is... A++ (100.01%+)=Average FA+ (0-100%)=Find new famaree who can accept your white peoples grade."

"I just smoked the fattest blunt.. And now my refrigerator is nervous!"

"I'm not too concerned about this whole terminal illness deal... My doctor said it should be the last thing I worry about."

"How Many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the ladder and ensure the safety of the second feminist who will unscrew the old lightbulb and replace it with a new one."