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Joke of the Day

"What are the 2 most important holes in the female body? No, you f**king pervert. It's her nostrils. How else could she breathe while giving you a blowjob?"

"What did the guy with 5 penises say? ""These pants fit like a glove"""

"You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend."

"How do you starve a worthless mooch? By hiding his employment check in his work boots."

"Who sings ""Love me tender"" and makes Christmas toys? Santa's little Elvis."

"A mexican and black person have a car race. They both end up going over a cliff and die. Who won the race? Society."

"How long does it take for a Somalian to shit? 9 months."

"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive... ...they would eventually find me attractive."

"What does a lumberjack and a trio of Irishmen have in common? They're both tree fellers."

"During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel."