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Joke of the Day

"During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel."

"My friend doesn't like how I tell fat people jokes. I'm still not sure how their weight has to do with their sense of humor."

"Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp."

"How do you make cottage cheese? You shake a baby."

"I once had a math test in an elevator... I was wrong on so many levels."

"Why is there no gambling in Africa? Too many Cheetahs."

"How you can see if a blonde is telling bullshit? Her lips are moving."

"Order by telephone only. A friend of mine went to buy a sim card. Turns out you need to call ahead to get one."

"What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man with 20 bullet holes in his back? The worst case of suicide he's ever seen."

"Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went."