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Joke of the Day

"Who sings ""Love me tender"" and makes Christmas toys? Santa's little Elvis."

"*chases cat around the house with a lint roller"

"Women say magazines portray an unrealistic image of beauty therefore making them feel inadequate. Then they buy 12 inch dildos."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get out of North Korea's missile range."

"*sees a woman struggling with a big suitcase up the stairs* Me: Need help with that? Her: Yeah! Me: *gives her a hug* You got this, girl."

"How does the Karate Kid pleasure himself? Wax off"

"I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would've been a lot more interesting."

"'Is this spicy?' 'Is this spicy?' 'Is this spicy?' 'Is this spicy?' 'Is this spicy?' 'Is this spicy?' - White people at Indian Buffets"

"If you want to rob a white person, just say: ""Stop, collaborate, and listen,"" then steal their stuff while they rap the rest of the song."

"People cry about homeless dogs... Yet it's free to adogt them and no one dogs..."