62503

Joke of the Day

"I really wish my boss would fall for the ""but all my friends are allowed to be late to work"" excuse."

"What is the only type of folder that can make you sick? Salmon Manilla"

"A tropical depression is just like a regular depression. Except instead of being unable to get out of bed, you can't get out of a hammock."

"[overhears wife complaining about me on phone] he's always overreacting and making a mess *spits chocolate milk everywhere* ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

"Two statisticians walk into a bar... What are the chances of that?"

"What did the pony say when he had a sore throat? Pardon me, I'm just a little hoarse."

"What did the ghost say during its planned act of terrorism? Allaboo Akbar."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bossy ! Bossy who ? Bossy just fired me !"

"[First Date] Him: Great dress. Me: Oh, this? *flips hair* *twirls* *skirt flares* *foot catches* *face plants* Him: Me: Hey! Come back!"

"Doctor: ""I'm afraid-"" *Wife crying* ""I'm afraid your husband is in a better place now."" *cut to me on a roller coaster at Disneyland*"