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Joke of the Day

"A neutron walks into a bar... A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. He asks the bartender how much it is. The bartender says ""We don't charge your type here!"""

"What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con desending.."

"Boss: ""Do you know why I've called you into my office?"" Into My Office: ""Because that's my name?"" Boss: ""Yes, that's right."""

"If life gives you melons, You might be dyslexic!"

"What do you call attempting to jump to light speed before checking the Hyper Drive first? A Wookie mistake!"

"What religion believes in the Big Bang? Islam."

"On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? About nine and three-quarters."

"Why doesn't George RR Martin use twitter? Because he killed all 144 characters -stolen from /r/gameofthrones"

"Batman: *puts on glasses* Hey do I still look like Bruce Wayne? Superman: Um obviously. Batman: Think about that for a second."

"SON: I need lunch money. DAD: Get a job. SON: I'm in 5th grade- DAD: All I'm hearin' is excuses."