156195
Joke of the Day
"On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? About nine and three-quarters."
Next Joke
"Do you want to hear a ghost joke? That's the spirit!"
"Yesterday I got dared to have surgery that prevented me from moving my neck... There's no turning back now"
"Why is my penis nicknamed Johnny Depp? Because I pirate so many pornos. Edit: I don't know how to add the nsfw tag sorry."
"How does a train eat? It goes chew chew!"
"I hate pedophiles they're fucking immature assholes!"
"IT:have you deleted your cookies? Me:yea the chocolate ones. There may be some raisin ones left IT:is there somebody else I could talk to?"
"What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape? What are your Hemsworth?"
"An obese old man who breaks into your house at night? A tiny flying woman who buys your dead teeth? It's a wonder children can sleep at all."
"""Lets put the slowest computer ever into the gas pump & make people answer 15 questions before we allow them to pump gas"" - Pump Engineers"