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Joke of the Day

"*thinks happy thoughts* *throws pixie dust in your eyes* *flies off with all your money*"

"Today I'm cancer free! And all the days before that, but it still counts."

"What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years? Church"

"What did Dr. Seuss call the book he wrote about Star Wars? The Cat in the AT-AT"

"Life is like a silent fart Pfft."

"Carl: Everybody was Kung fu fighting! Doug: um, I don't know Kung f-- Carl: except for Doug from accounting"

"Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

"Why did the musician hate getting drunk? He always had treble finding his keys!"

"What's the funniest joke you know? (Here's one of mine) Two flies were arguing on a toilet seat. One got pissed off."

"Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, ""what's your costume going to be?"" ""I'll be Bach"""