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Joke of the Day

"If the Pilgrims were alive today what would they be famous for? Their age!"

"I asked a hooker to talk dirty to me in Latin. She declined."

"Why is picture of Jesus better than Jesus himself? You only need one nail to hang up the picture."

"What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? A seizure salad"

"Whats the easiest way to drown a blonde? Glue a penny to the bottom of a swimming pool ALTERNATE ENDING: Put a scratch n' sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool"

"Looking for some tasteless Gabrielle Giffords jokes"

"I just went to see the local police chief give a talk on heroin. I couldn't understand a word he said"

"You can eat a huge bag of cashews right in front of a cop and he can't do shit about it because cashews aren't illegal."

"Remember back in the olden days when we used wood-burning stoves and AOL?"

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I just wanna to use my finger & write `""WASH ME""` on her face."