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Joke of the Day

"So a circumference walks into a restaurant... ...sits down and orders a bowl of diameter ice cream. The waiter asks, ""You want pie with that?"""

"My drinking team has a bowling problem."

"My attorney's sole responsibility after I die will be to unfriend people that post anything about angels on my wall."

"My husband said that he seriously fears for my life every time I go out because I'm the ""kind of person people would want to kill."""

"I don't get why my dad talks on a phone. He's so loud all he has to do is open the window and they can hear him."

"What makes football players bi-sexual? They play with Cleats and Balls all day."

"My daughter wanted to be a princess... ...so I got divorced, married a horrible woman with three ugly kids, and left them all to it."

"Why couldn't the pig pay his bill? He was a little shoat."

"Why Did John Lennon Get shot? Yoko Ducked"

"There are 4 gay guys in a bar and only one bar stool, how do they all sit down? They turn the stool up side down"