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Joke of the Day

"A big thank you to whoever spraypainted ""KARATE"" on the side of my truck. Cops are scared to give me tickets now."

"To the Engineer To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be."

"A man in a restaurant asks the waiter, ""How does the chef prepare the chicken?"" The waiter replies, ""He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"""

"Good guy in movie shot 3 times: I must save my family Me, kinda sore from trampoline sesh: sorry gramma can't make it to your 85th bday"

"What was the vegan rock band's first hit? Lettuce turnip the beet!"

"Whats the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can go to a store without robin."

"TIFU by not posting in the correct subreddit."

"Q: What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common? A: They were both cooked by a guy named ""Dave""."

"When life gives you lemons, wish that life had given you something to make a more original aphorism."

"[funeral] ok I need everyone over 70 to gather for the bouquet toss"