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Joke of the Day

"People Don't even say grace before meals anymore . They just Hold up Their Phones over the Plate , snap a Pic , & Post it on Instagram"

"Two scientists walk into a bar... ...one asks for H2O, the other one asks for H2O too, the second one died."

"What did Kurt Kobain have such a terrible time in 7th grade? He was having a mid-life crisis."

"Two tomatoes were sitting in a fridge... One tomato says to the other: 'Ain't it cold?' And the other replies: 'HOOOOOLY SHIT, A SPEAKING TOMATO!!!'"

"who wore it better: Russell Brand or Steven Tyler's microphone stand"

"Did you hear about the Rabbi who showed up to the circumcision drunk? He got the sack."

"Why's it so hard to find marathon and triathlon reviews in Germany? Well, you know what happened last time they picked a race..."

"Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No. Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat."

"Real men don't need guns. One time I beat a burglar to death with a sleeve of Ritz crackers and used the crumblings for a casserole crust."

"Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that."