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Joke of the Day

"People Don't even say grace before meals anymore . They just Hold up Their Phones over the Plate , snap a Pic , & Post it on Instagram"

"I requested the number 867-5309 from my cellular provider because I like being annoyed to the point of rage."

"Text this to someone: I just love making you check your phone for no reason, who's my bi$ch? You are."

"Remember, ladies, when you're taking those selfies, the camera adds like 10 cats."

"Cops: You were driving while intoxicated Me: I was in no condition to walk"

"I like my coffee black... like it's waiting for it's welfare check."

"DEAD BABY JOKES: So what's the difference between a dead baby and dirt? **I don't eat dirt.**"

"Q: What does a proud computer call his little son? A: A microchip off the old block."

"How do ya get a fag to fuck a woman? Shit in her pussy"

"ALCOHOL: The nighttime laughing, slurring, blurring, shouting, pounding head, confidence, so you can turnt shit up medicine."