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Joke of the Day

"""Let's blast some Jack Johnson and call each other Broseph and dump our girlfriends with a text."" -Dudes who wear salmon colored jean shorts"

"Why do Kenyans always win marathons? At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-"

"I bought a grandfather clock. It's like a regular clock but it keeps telling you that it's lived through three wars."

"What do you call a rooster looking at a vegetable patch? Chicken Caesar Salad"

"What comes before OP? QWERTYUI"

"I have CDO. It's like OCD, except the letters are all arranged in flawless, perfect alphabetical order... AS THEY SHOULD BE."

"The plan to get my dog to swallow semen is coming on a treat"

"What do snakes take for their sniffles? Antihissssstamines!"

"I like my tumors like I like my bingo numbers... B9"

"The 7 days of my week.....Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Friday, Saturday and preMonday"