62016

Joke of the Day

"ARTEMIS: No man shall boast he has seen Artemis bathe! *turns Acton into a stag* [Artemis nudes go viral, 2.2M viewers turn into stags]"

"""Honey, let's have a baby."" - a cannibal couple discussing dinner plans."

"Top prank: when your friend falls asleep, place his hand in a bowl of warm water so he wakes up with one regular hand & one wrinkly one."

"LOL at vegetarians coming to my house for a BBQ! Feel free to eat my lawn. L-O-L!"

"How can you tell Cap'n Crunch is terrible? He hasn't been promoted since 1963..."

"I can tell everything I need to know about your business by the thickness of your bathroom toilet paper."

"The 21st century: Deleting history is often more important than making it."

"What did 0 say to 8? Why's your belt so tight bruh?"

"Bathrooms are international You're Russian to it, European while you're in there, and then ya Finnish."

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number... She said ""sex! sex! sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said ""wow"" Then her friend said,"" she means 666-3629"""