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Joke of the Day

"The 21st century: Deleting history is often more important than making it."

"[bank] Robber: EVERYONE GET DOWN! Me: [crying] my wife left & my kids think I'm a joke Robber: No I mean- Robber2: Wait! Let him finish"

"*me loggin into twitter* I'll have to bypass their security system *types in password* bingo"

"Did you hear about the Texan who moved to Oklahoma and raised the IQ level of both states?"

"My relationship with my Ex was purely psychological... She was a psycho and I was totally logical."

"I came into some money yesterday. I couldn't find the tissues."

"Why do programmers celebrate Christmas on Halloween? Because OCT 31 == DEC 25"

"So I found out Viagra's pharmaceutical name. Mycoxafloppin"

"What does an Eskimo do if his house falls down? Igloos it back together."

"Maybe your parents told you a watched pot never boils so you wouldn't go around sticking your face near boiling water, idiot."