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Joke of the Day

"How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 or 2. Now 1... or 2."

"Yes, 911?... Yeah, this guy is wearing green-colored skinny jeans and he has a really hot girlfriend. So do I judge him...or her?"

"Me: ""My elbow hurts."" WebMD: ""Elbow cancer."""

"Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently it's called kidnapping"

"You wanna know about hippie sex? It's in tents."

"What's an archaeologist? Someone whose career is in ruins."

"If Hillary and Donald Trump are on a boat together and it crashes, who survives? America."

"I'd just like to thank the sidewalk For keeping me off the streets"

"Where does marine wildlife get treated? The Squid-ward."

"What's the best time of the day? 6:30... *hands down*"