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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to propose to her. I wanted to propose her.I gave her a ring.What the heck,she won't pick up the phone."

"Whats the difference between a baby and an onion You don't cry when you cut a baby"

"After 2 million years in existence, the pinky finger reveals its true purpose: supporting the bottom of our phones."

"Why do Jewish Men get Circumcised ...Because Jewish woman cant resist 20% OFF."

"Why does nobody play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs"

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free!"

"Just remember, you can't please everyone. So just focus on what's important, pleasing me."

"The introduction of Yoga Pants have been found to be the cause of a 0.65 drop in the GPA of Males. I dont have significant data to back this up, But i have some notes from college that show causation."

"WHAT IS SEX? HUSBAND: A minute of PLEASURE, then years of PRESSURE! WIFE: Moments of ECSTASY, followed by decades of SLAVERY! MISTRESS: Just stolen TIME, but never MINE! HOOKER: NEXT!"

"What do you call a tire named after Ferris Bueller? A Ferris Wheel."