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Joke of the Day

"Her: u have a choice its me or the megaphone Me: fine Her: good Me: [puts megaphone directly to her ear] I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE"

"I hate people who talk behind my back. They discussed me"

"When it comes to age, women are a lot like wine. I mean, who doesn't love 16 year-old wine."

"*is at the movies with hot date* *does fake yawn to put arm around her* *yawns too hard and inhales a child from the row in front* *dies*"

"What language does a Jewish homo speak? Heblew."

"Just watched Starwars The Force Awakend It felt kind of forced"

"Why do they keep making TVs thinner and thinner? To keep up with the content."

"the day i feel like a real adult is the day i can wear a white shirt and keep it stain-free."

"Wife renewed me for another season."

"What did the wall say the the other wall Meet you at the corner"