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Joke of the Day

"Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree."

"I've never thought about suicide until now... But it might cheer me up if you tried."

"So they say 71 percent of tweets go unread. But I bet you all are reading this one. Cause this one's got Velociraptors. And they're awesome."

"There aren't that many casinos in Africa. Cause there are too many cheetahs. And if you meet one who claims he isn't a cheetah, he's probably lion to you."

"Why do the French get high so fast? Because they'll reach 420 before anyone else. Explanation: 80 is quatre-vingt in french and quatre=4 and vingt= 20."

"Half of Chinese men have cataracts... The other half drive Lincolns."

"A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, ""I slept with a Brazilian...."" NSFW The blonde replies, ""Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""

"Me (to a baby): Hush little baby don't say a word. Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird Mom: like hell I'll buy that kid anything.."

"I'm working on a script about a mobster who attempts to reinvent himself as a professional photographer. I'm gonna call it... *The Selfie Made Man.*"

"How many countries border Germany? Nein!"