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Joke of the Day

"Bill Joe Armstrong (From Greenday) was walking down the street. A girl walked past him and said ""Wow, you smell amazing."" He replied: ""That's because I wore cologne, I wore cologne."""

"""Mr. President, two Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday in Iraq."" ""Oh my god... How many is a Brazilian?"""

"The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don't check their phone for 3+ hours."

"Where does Kylie buy her kebabs? From Jason's Doner Van. (Sorry, I'm guessing this one's only for the Aussies and Brits)"

"Whoa. The house telephone thingy just rang. Couldn't remember what to do so I stopped, dropped and rolled."

"Poor Richard Simmons. He got tangled in his work-out mat, and now he's a fruit roll-up."

"Luke is so old now he just uses the Force to keep the neighborhood kids off his lawn"

"Ancient Chinese proverb: man who go to bed with itchy bottom, wake up with smelly finger."

"Why couldn't the police arrest the drug dealer? Because the evidence was under their noses (They sniffed the cocaine)"

"Some nights I just lie down and stare up at the stars and I wonder what happened to my roof"