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Joke of the Day

"If I ever wake up on Christmas Day and there's a Mercedes outside with a giant ribbon on it, I'm gonna assume it has an ignition bomb"

"So he left. We don't serve your kind here, says the bartender. A tachyon walks into a bar."

"What do you get when you cross peanuts and almonds? Deez Nutz"

"What do you call an Asian gold digger? Cha Ching"

"Yo mama so fat when she moves, the space-time ripples are detectable with naked eye."

"This diet is probably gonna end in murder, but still pretty excited. I'm gonna look so skinny in my mugshot!"

"If your partner asks, ""Do you love your phone more than you love me?"" Lie."

"Thanks to the Fed continuing to print money, a picture is now only worth 583 words."

"If the world was a giant sweater, where would all the black people live In the hood"

"What's the difference between feminists and guns? Guns only have one trigger. At the time I was writing this, my mom and sister were in the middle of a death battle yelling match, help."