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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a snitch whose been caught and a free-spirited orphan with an Oedipus complex? One's a dead-ass motherfucker. The other's a dead mother ass-fucker."

"There are rumors that Robert Pattinson from the ""Twilight"" movies may be the next Indiana Jones. If there is one thing I want with my rugged action heroes, it's a little bit of sparkle!"

"What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill? ""Here come the elephants up over the hill!"""

"""Game of Thrones"" author George R. R. Martin joined Twitter this week. He already has 80,000 followers and that's just the cast of ""Game of Thrones."""

"Dad: HEY come here, did you go to school with this guy on tv? Me: Dad, that's Spongebob Squarepants Dad: Must've been in your sister's class"

"My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker... ...so I told her to roll them tighter."

"Are we dangerous? ""Yes"" replied mother earth."

"Her: Undress me with your words... Me: I saw a spider in your bra."

"So there were these two extremely saggy breasts.... one looked to the other and said ""If we don't get some support soon, they're gonna think we're both nuts!"""

"What do you call a deaf dog? It doesn't matter, it can't hear you anyway."