61309
Joke of the Day
"How does Donald Trump plan to expel all Muslims from the county? Legalize Uber."
Next Joke
"I lost both of my arms today... its ok though. I've learned to embrace it"
"I cumfonted my girlfriend this morning... What did she have to say? Get me a towel."
"What does Tarzan sing at Christmas? Jungle Bells"
"Today I saw a guy driving around with upward of 10 parking tickets on his windshield. Now what were you saying about not giving a fuck?"
"Don't forget to get offended today by some retarded shit that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever."
"Q: What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone? A: A Rolling Stone says ""hey you get off of my cloud!"" while a Scotsman says ""Hey McLeod get off of my ewe!"""
"Emma Stone is my girlfriend. Nobody tell her, though. I want it to be a surprise."
"What do you call a Quadriplegic in the ocean? Bob. *I'm so sorry*"
"I was doing a crossword and asked my Jamaican friend for help I asked him, ""Hey, what's a 10 letter word for colossal or huge?"" He said, ""Monumental!"" I replied, ""No, I'm not."""