201729

Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone? A: A Rolling Stone says ""hey you get off of my cloud!"" while a Scotsman says ""Hey McLeod get off of my ewe!"""

Next Joke
 
"I don't believe my friend's story about the time he fit a whole watermelon up his ass. It's just too much of a stretch."
"[pizza delivery] Girl: Is there an other way I can pay you? *bites lip* uh HELL YEAH! *pulls out phone* see that RT button?"
"Why do Ukrainians not like being late? They don't wanna be rushin"
"Why is Hannibal so rich? Well, he save on groceries."
"Jesus wasn't just fit.... He was crossfit."
"Poor Will... He gets fired at a lot."
"When I die I want my body donated to science Specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead people back to life."
"Remember ladies. It goes from Twitter to Kik to Voxer to cell phone number to address to being dismembered in a motel bathtub."
"I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now but I'm still proud..."