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Joke of the Day
"Beginning to worry that, on my deathbed, I'm going to be just lying there, refreshing twitter."
Next Joke
"Parents w/ 1st kid: *Peels grape & slices it into 84 tiny pieces. Parents w/ 4th kid: *Gives kid knife & fork to cut their own steak."
"What kind of shoes do Ninjas wear? Sneakers"
"I have an original joke. Just kidding. I couldn't find one to repost."
"What did the plant say to the other plant that it really liked alot? let me be your *soil*mate"
"What do you call a Native family reunion? An alcoholics anonymous meeting."
"Ladies and gentlemen, Testicles. That is all."
"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair"
"My brother recently got married To celebrate, my mother decided to pull out a couple bottles from my late father's homemade alcohol collection. That way he could be there in spirits"
"If someone asks what you're doing today, grab a knife & yell ""SOMETHING I SHOULD'VE DONE A LONG TIME AGO!"" Sounds way cooler than ""Napping!"""