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Joke of the Day

"My brother recently got married To celebrate, my mother decided to pull out a couple bottles from my late father's homemade alcohol collection. That way he could be there in spirits"

"My lesbian neighbors gave me a Timex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, ""I wanna watch."""

"How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven? Jesus said to him ""Behold! I am risen!"" and he said ""That's nice I don't bereave you."""

"If you lose one senses, your other senses become stronger. That's why people without a sense of humour have such a high sense of self importance"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alf ! Alf who ? Alf all if you don't catch me!"

"Jurassic Park (1993): An old man with ungodly amounts of money doesn't have any common sense."

"Trump is already making good on his promise for jobs. Who else would hire Three Doors Down?"

"Showerthought: We should make an online dating site called eBae."

"How many animals can you fit into a pair of panty hose? 2 calves, an ass, 1 beaver, a shit load of hares, a camel toe, and a fish nobody can find."

"Look grandma. You told me to bring something to the wake. If you meant a casserole, you should have said so. Now help me load this drum kit."