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Joke of the Day

"An Atheist Walks Into A Bar... An Atheist walks into a bar with God, Thor, and Zeus. The bartender looks at him and says ""Drinking alone again, I see..."""

"When I die, I want to pass peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa Not screaming in petrified terror, like his passengers."

"How did Jared lose 40lbs? He dumped his girlfriend."

"What's the difference between Marty McFly and a Bears fan? Eventually, Marty McFly stopped going back to 1985."

"Did you hear about the guy that could not afford personalized license plates? He changed his name to JLU 635."

"Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies."

"My 5-year-old blames me when things go wrong and takes all the credit when they go right. She'll be a CEO someday."

"I was in chemistry class with my lab partner... ...and asked him if he wanted some sodium bromide, but to my disappointment, he said NaBro"

"I don't believe Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back. He wouldn't get any balance laying on his shell."

"Why I like molecular-biology porn I watch it for the blot."