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Joke of the Day

"After years of working in a hospital, I've become a bit of a germaphobe. I just do NOT believe that Bacteria should have the right to get married."

"What car is it best to grow grass on? K-K-K-Kia"

"Never leave Sulfuric Acid in a metal beaker That's an oxidant waiting to happen."

"""Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she's a monster wearing a shit ton of makeup."" -Maybelline"

"What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving."

"Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn. (Stolen from laffy taffy)"

"Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic? It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying. Obligatory edit: Frontpage on /r/jokes! Wohooo!"

"Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she threw away all the w's!"

"I almost bruised myself yesterday It was a missed ache"

"Why did the blonde starve to death? Her new phone came with a little packet in the box that said, ""Do not eat."""