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Joke of the Day

"I almost bruised myself yesterday It was a missed ache"

"You are all beautiful to me ...with the proper lighting. :D Have a great day!"

"[job interview] ""We feel that you just aren't quite mature enough for the position."" It's the Velcro shoes, isn't it. ""...yes."""

"What do you call an entertaining female's tone of voice? A fun gal inflection You're welcome"

"Would you like to try some binary cake? Sure, I'll have a little bit."

"Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snow-blower was coming."

"What do you call snacks served at a brothel? whore d'oeuvres"

"So then the otaku says... That's no body pillow. That's my wife!"

"Ibuprofenum and Aspirin are running in a race... Suddenly prednisolone passes them and wins first place. Ibuprofenum looks toward Aspirin and mutters: ""fucking steroids"""

"[PRESS CONFERENCE] Me: I'm going on the record. Yes, I'd go back in time to kill a baby Reporter: you mean Baby Hitler? Me: sure, whoever"