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Joke of the Day

"This came to me randomly today; not sure if old, or OC... How does Hannibal Lecter like his eggs? Ovaries-y"

"Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa? Because it can't be taken on empty stomach"

"I swear if one more person RT's poetry into my TL I will draw a bath, light some candles, and just get lost in the verse's haunting imagery."

"The United States has such bad luck It's almost as if it was build on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."

"Lately I've gotten into donkey porn... ...it really gets MEEE OFFFFF!"

"How much for the mirror? Ma'am that's the cover of Vogue"

"My daughter: Do you want a kiss daddy? Me: Of course. My daughter: Does it make you sad that no other girls want to kiss you? Me: Thanks."

"When I die I'd like to be cremated I think I've urned it."

"Breastfeeding in public. This hating of people that breastfeed in public should really stop. I can raise my cat any way I want to."

"You can joke about anything you want, just not Mexicans That's crossing the border"