163624
Joke of the Day
"I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem."
Next Joke
"WIFE: We'd have less arguments if he wasn't so pedantic THERAPIST [to me] Is that right? ME: No. It should be fewer arguments"
"Ladies: If a man approaches you and he's wearing Crocs, hold perfectly still. Their vision is based off movement."
"What's a racist bakers favourite ingredient? WHITE FLOUR!"
"Wore camouflage pants once. Still can't find my legs."
"If I ever get arrested I am going to ask for a status update instead of a phone call."
"What's the difference between a seagull and a baby? The seagull flits along the shore, the baby shits along the floor."
"Not to brag, but I can cure a man of having a thing for me in five minutes flat."
"Do you know how to make Notre Dame style eggs? You put them in a bowl way too big for it...and then beat repeatedly for 3 hours"
"It's impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone."