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Joke of the Day

"Anyone who doesn't believe in life after death has never walked away from a lousy job."

"Bill Cosby sure does love pudding.... his dick where it doesnt belong."

"What do you call a horse that's thinking of home? Mentally in-stable."

"Can I take your order? Yeah, lemme get a McRib and a large Coke. Sir, this is Wallgreens OK, make it a bottle of Xanax, and some Pringles"

"I wasn't too impressed by Dr. Strange.. I've seen Stranger Things."

"I want to give my ex a great Valentines present to show him how much I still care. I think I'll go all out and buy him a Toyota."

"I was offered a job working as medieval escort. Unfortunately, I turned it down because I would have to work fucking knights."

"My Girlfriend told me to give her 10 inches and make it hurt... So I fucked her twice and punched her in the mouth!"

"A goose walks into a cafe. He says, ""I want a burger, fries, and coke. Put it on my bill."""

"So Harry Potter gets an invisibility cloak.. Does he sneak in and watch Hermione getting changed? No, he goes to the library"