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Joke of the Day

"Bill Cosby sure does love pudding.... his dick where it doesnt belong."

"What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? Their biggest hit was The Wall."

"How many calories do you get from eating pussy? Depends on which direction she wipes..."

"[drunk w/ 2 kittens at a bar] give me another ""haven't u had enough?"" i'll tell u when i've had enough! *bartender hands me another kitten*"

"What do British nuclear engineers eat? Fission chips."

"What's the difference between a kitten and your wife? You actually want to cuddle a kitten after you fuck it."

"How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar? They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years."

"How do you know Adam and Eve weren't Chinese? They would have eaten the snake"

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile ""That's a pretty big word for a 10 year old"", I told her."

"Just got a call from the wife saying she'd broken the wing mirror. Just got a call from the wife saying she'd broken the wing mirror. I asked ""How the hell did you do that""? ""The car rolled on it""."