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Joke of the Day

"Can I take your order? Yeah, lemme get a McRib and a large Coke. Sir, this is Wallgreens OK, make it a bottle of Xanax, and some Pringles"

"Anyone else notice how Barney the Dinosaur is basically a T-rex & parents had no qualms about leaving their children with an apex predator?"

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? LET'S GO RIDE BIKES!"

"If intelligence runs in your family, I can only guess it tripped and fell before it got to you."

"Leather armor is best for sneaking Because it's literally made of hide."

"John went to the doctor saying that he cannot stop thinking and hear about skittles he was going crazy and paranoid. The doctor diagnosed him with Skittlophrenia."

"I've got an Uncle Rube. I mean he's really my mother's sister's roommate's friend's hairdresser's step-dad, but the effect is the same."

"Whats brown and sticky? My poster of rihanna."

"""7 minutes in heaven"" but just me locked in the closet with this burrito."

"How is a pirate like a trumpet player? They both murder on the high C's."