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Joke of the Day

"Forgot my Fitbit because it was charging and now it's like I walked for no reason."

"Saw a guy masturbating on the bus today... Where does he get off?!? (credit to Hampton Yount)"

"Femenist Social studies... Why did the femenist fail her social studies class? She didn't wanna learn his story...."

"This guy came up to me and told me that he fucked my mom My step dad is weird as fuck"

"Why would the Higgs Boson feel unsafe in a country where the leader openly practiced genocide? It would be a land of mass-murder"

"How do you get Lady Gaga to leave you alone? You Poke-r Face."

"Why the chicken cross the road? To look for his cock."

"When they start getting the 5-day forecast right then maybe I'll listen to their climate change theories."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the chin."

"ME: im nervous GIRLFRIEND: dont be M: what are some of his interests GF: he likes football [later] GF'S DAD: nice to meet u M: *tackles him*"