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Joke of the Day

"Why was the phone wearing glasses?... Because it lost all its contacts!"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died."

"What should you do if there is a blackout at night? Call the police, they'll come and shoot it."

"I wasn't trying to break you up, but she asked me what I did last night, and your name came up. *shrugs"

"""Hey Adam, can you get me some water?"" ""Sure I can, while I'm up and at 'em!"""

"My neighbor traded in his KIA yesterday. Sold his Soul for a Mustang."

"So Harry Potter gets an invisibility cloak.. Does he sneak in and watch Hermione getting changed? No, he goes to the library"

"What do you give the guy who has everything? Penicillin"

"I wish my new best friend from Spain came with subtitles, because pittbull only taught me uno do tres cuatro..."

"This is my ""go to"" dirty joke ...always What did one tampon say to the other..... nothing, they are both stuck up cunts. ba dum tiss"